But im scared of dying

I felt an emptiness that i havnt felt for years, that I never wanted to feel again.
That feeling of just being so done that I couldn't even feel done. I just felt nothing and that scared the shit out of me because I know what I'm capable of when I reach that point and it was so devastating that it took years to get back on the right track but there I was again. Swimming in a emotionless nothingness and trying to surface but was too tired of trying

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